The Peterhof Fountain
A Hilarious Excerpt from
Travel Tales Monthly No. 9 Mar 2015
[Travels of the ‘Fool’]
St Petersburg, Russia, 2001
by Michael Brein
The Squirting Fountains of the Peterhof
I’ve just completed a new ebook and audiobook in my Travel Psychologist Travel Tales Series on funny travel stories. It’s funny as hell! I’m so proud of this ebook. Why not have a looksee or a listenhear? I even have a monthly special for April to help pave the way for you.
Here is a sample travel story from this new ebook and audiobook:
The Peterhof Fountain
There’s nothing so much fun as making a gaggle of Russian teenage girls giggle. And even better, there is nothing more rewarding as seeing them all convulsing in uncontrollable, raucous laughter out loud, thus having no possible better a time than that.
Being the consummate ‘Clown’ that I am, this was my plan for the gardens of the Peterhof Palace in the suburbs of St Petersburg, where they have one of the world’s finest arrays of beautiful fountains.
The ‘Clown’ in me is really up to making the group of young Russian girls laugh totally at his (MY) expense. And I plan to do this very thing at the infamous Peterhof Palace ‘Splash Fountain.’
This is a great one! There are many flat slate stepping stones neatly arrayed in one area. Now, the girls are very mindful that if you dare to step anywhere into this zone, you just may fall victim and get squirted by a random fountain squirt shooting up at you.
It’s a crapshoot, for you never quite know where the fountain will squirt next. It is one thing for guys to get squirted in this way; it is another matter entirely for girls in skirts. So they tread very care-fully, one of them, then another, darting back and forth, trying to both entice and evade the random eruptions of the fountains.
And this makes them both giggly and excited at the same time. After all, you are in great danger of being splashed and soaked by the fountain. And if you can ‘tease’ the fountain, placing yourself at even greater risk, and yet just manage to escape barely in time, then you have cheated the ‘devil!’ What can be more thrilling than that?
Not my plan, however. I, the ‘Clown,’ will taunt the fountain. I will make awkward, silly gestures to tease the fountain ‘god’ (or devil) with “catch me if you can!” and “I dare you” gestures. I have no doubt that I will ultimately anger the fountain god into action.
And this is exactly what happens. I truly get soaked to the bone, with the predicted effect—the girls laugh uncontrollably. They are happy. I am soaking wet.
I taunted the fountain god, all right! I don’t have to speak Russian (which I do a little, anyway) to flaunt the fountain god into action. I manage to speak to the fountain god in international, nonverbal gestural language.
And I do indeed spot the water deity, himself, sitting on a small stool, hidden in the nearby garden shrubbery. Only, the god is laughing, too! Better that the god is a laughing, happy god and not a vengeful god.
The ‘Clown’ in me morphs for an instant into the ‘Superhero.’ After all, laughter of the masses at oneself—at one’s own expense in the service of the merriment of others—is a really better thing in so far as the greater good is concerned.
Almost sounds a little like the Communist Manifesto, huh?
Did you laugh a little or even smile? Why not buy or even rent the whole issue? I promise you’ll more than reap a bunch of laughs for the $1.99 or $2.99 expenditure! And if you avail yourself of my 2-for-1 special for the month of April—well, you’ll do more than just okay! What is a belly-laugh worth these days?